elchaz

Hi LJ! I finally found something that's long-form enough for me to post on you, rather than twitter.  You feel like an old pair of gloves; I slip you right on and it's like I never threw you in the garbage in the hopes that the evidence wouldn't be found.

Anyway, immediately after waking up this morning, I was seized by an epiphany.  I could do a hilarious stand-up comedy routine, and I would never have to write any material.  It's a bit conceptual, in an Andy Kaufman kind-of way.  Here's my act: I walk on stage with a notebook and inform the crowd that I will be delivering, verbatim, Dane Cook's stand-up act.  I just read it off, totally deadpan.

Hilarious, right?  I would get laughs for how un-goddamn-funny that guy truly is.  And it would be a learning experience for the audience.  Without 8,000 people there, without the crazy energy and body movements, his work would be stripped bare.  For example, what I consider to be his FUNNIEST bit, but remember - totally deadpan:

"I want to be an alien.  The movie aliens - isn't it the best?  Those aliens.  You don't mess with those aliens.  They're badass looking.  They're always wet and shit.  You don't mess with that.  If I got on the subway like that, you wouldn't mess with me.  And they have that spit, they have that acidy spit.  I want that.  Why not me?  I would love to have acidy spit.  I would use that.  You know, cop pulls me over, I'd be like, "officer, I'm sorry, I've got my thing in the glove...*spit noise*"

For those that don't see my twitter feed, Klaus the Baron von Spunkmeyer as Che Guevara.

Ever wonder what it meant when Pandora said it chose a song for you because of it's, "Subtle use of Vocal Harmony," or the "Major Key Tonality?"  Now you can find out!  They have a really good music theory podcast.  Some interesting ones:
Gypsy Jazz, Reggae Ska Rocksteady and Dub, Drums Pt. II: Swing and Shuffle, Dissonance.

Secondly, I apologize for stealing your life, but here's Songs to Wear Pants To.  (Anyway, blame vixyash, because she tweeted this.)  Every so often this guy would write a song and post it.  He got so popular that now people pay a nominal fee for him to write a song for them.  Sometimes it's just a general topic, other people send in complete lyrics.  Hit the archive, but pee first, cuz he's really good and you'll be in front of the PC a while.  Some good ones:

Never Been in Love, Hidden Camera Show, We are the Robot Pirates, Lemonade Vendor Asian Small-Clawed Otter, The Story of Snesly Wipes, Tetris.

Enjoy!


P.S. I'm having to make a conscious effort not to add innumerable STWPT links to this post.  I would seriously just end up linking like every page on the site.

P.P.S Oh fuck it, this one's just too good. This Girl.
 

 

8 Months late, as per usual.  "lechaz"

We just got out of Xanadu at the La Jolla Playhouse. If you were to produce the living embodiment of camp, it would look exactly like this show. Favorite line:

"My three daughters!"

"The Sirens!"

"They never call."

Posted via LiveJournal.app.

The Bernie Madoff Ponzi scheme came up at dinner tonight.  I happen to be fairly well versed on the subject, mostly because I listen to NPR's Planet Money podcast.  If anyone is at all interested in how this guy lost 50 billion dollars in stakeholder value, I'd really recommend listening to this episode, and this one.  Your first clue as to how an audited hedge fund lost so much money: it wasn't actually a hedge fund.  :)

In general, the show is a really good listen, particularly if you're a bit in the dark (as I am) about just what the hell is going on with our economy.  They do an excellent job of clearly explaining all these sweeping macroeconomic concepts.  Plus, they have surprisingly good bumper music.  You can listen on the web page or subscribe in iTunes.

If I were in the Lucha Libre, I would be a heel called El Snoozador.

I just finished Anathem by Neal Stephenson.  It's quite the book.  I still enjoyed Crypronomicon more, but this is right up there.  It's highly packed, if that makes sense, and breaks off occasionally for a mathematical proof of one kind or another (thoughtfully footnoted and included at the end, rather than in the main text) but the slow start works perfectly with the mythos of the world.

Imagine an Earth where universities were, in effect, monastic orders, and all the thinkers, scientists, etc. lived inside and only came out (depending on their status) once every 10, 100 or 1000 years.  They live ascetic lives in essentially total seclusion from the outside world.  (Until, of course, something BIG happens.)

Here's the book's acknowledgements page (too long to be printed, natch), and here's some of the music that is sung inside one of these retreats, including a musical derivation of the quadratic equation and a seven minute approximation of Pi.

If you haven't read any Stephenson, grab Crypronomicon and prepare to spend a week reading it non-stop.  If you have, I recommend Anathem - it's a return to form after the super-dense Baroque Cycle.

I heard about this from an NPR story about the founders. (They're Israeli and Palestinian and do business over the walls via video-conferencing, etc.) It's the "Global Hosted Operating SysTem." Basically, this company will set up a VM for you that runs in a browser window. Press F11, and you've got a full-screen computing environment hosted entirely elsewhere. 5gb of storage, 3Gb of email. Not sure what it's based on, but probably a linux of some kind. It's about what you'd expect - there's a browser, basic productivity tools, and all the rest. Interesting.

http://g.ho.st/

Anyone ever heard of this? It's a technique whereby you deliberately blur out the region around the object of focus, making average-sized and big objects appear small. Here's a video of a monster truck rally, that you'd be excused for thinking was a Robot Chicken episode.


Metal Heart from Keith Loutit on Vimeo.

It's all done, people.  Actually, I finished up at the end of last month, but I haven't gotten around to posting until now.    Mission Hills Bikes cabled up the brakes, and gave it a once-over to ensure I did my stuff right.  I've been riding, and it's great!  Now, here it is:



Lookin' mighty fine.  Now begins the next project:



Jessleyan.  Get it?  It's for Jessica, and we're going for a 1950's womens' college vibe.  :)

It's looking good, people. Just don't let me down on prop 8, CA.

(Other than my wife's stellar officiating, of course.)  Our table deciding what the past tense of tweet is.

( NSFW )

Lots has been done since the last time I posted.  I stripped the bike down completely and took the frame, fork, chainring, crank arms, seat post and brake arms for powder coating.  During the week that took, I de-greased and cleaned all the small parts (nuts, bolts, washers, etc.).  Also, I ordered my wheelset from Bike Shop Santa Cruz.  That place is amazing - the staff is really helpful, even over the phone.  Not to mention that they had way the best price, and not by a small margin, either - the same set from Mission Hills Bike Shop is two hundred dollars more expensive, even counting shipping.

Speaking of Mission Hills Bike Shop, they're really good, otherwise.  They took off my bottom bracket and headset (for which you need more than $100 worth of special tools) for 10 bucks, and they put it all back for $40.  Unfortunately, because putting it all back is a longer job it had to go into their regular repair queue, so here we are, three weeks later.

Now that I have it, though, it's all coming together really fast and it looks fucking great.  Ta Daa:



The powder coat on my parts matches the wheels almost exactly, which I was worried about.  It's a bit more glossy, but you'd never notice.



Get a load of my sweet Paul's Components e-Lever brake levers.  Also, note my second- and third-ever handlebar wrap jobs.  Not too shabby, yes?  We will not speak of attempt number one.

My bike is the hottest bike to ever bike.  The only things remaining are to put on the pedals, take the rear wheel to the shop to swap out the freewheel cog (wrong size), put on the seat and cable up the brakes.  Hopefully, I'll be riding by tomorrow.  :)

This is really amazing - I highly recommend ya'll check it out.  (Use the fullscreen view.)

Linky.

I woke up super-early this morning, by an accident of fate, and took the opportunity to call into the Adam Carolla morning radio show and argue with my idol about income tax policy.  :)  I made the man chuckle, and I feel that I acquitted myself well.

Linky.  I start around minute 10.

He cuts me off before I have a chance to respond to his final argument, but I would have brought up the whole issue of annual income versus net worth.  How the smaller portion of annual income I pay in taxes arguably hits me harder than the larger portion he pays because it represents so much more of my net worth.

Anyway, fun.

ChristianNymphos.com

It's pretty much what it sounds like, and it's HILARIOUS and WONDERFUL.

Excerpt:  The bible doesn’t, however, spell it out for anal sex. There are no specific verses that say that anal sex between a married couple is a sin. There are verses that deal with homosexuality, but not a married couple. I believe that if it were a sin, God would have included it in with the others He mentioned. But since the bible is silent on this issue, there is a debate among Christians regarding this.

This is something that you and your spouse will need to discuss and pray about. The Holy Spirit will convict you as to what is best for your marriage. If one of you has a history of deep porn use, where anal sex was depicted, then it’s possible that engaging in anal sex could become a slippery slope for you, and lead back into your old, sinful lifestyles. You’ll need to ask yourself: Will doing this cause me to lust for more or for others? Will it remind me of the pornography and cause me to revert back to that? While participating in anal sex may be okay for one couple, it may cause another couple to stumble.

Wow, I'm like the master of the playlist, recently.  My latest opus: Kings and Queens.  (Have I forgotten any?)

Kings of the Garden District - Wynton Marsalis
King Nothing - Metallica
World of a King - David Mead
The Science of Selling Yourself Short - Less than Jake (yes it counts, just listen)
Rascal King - The Mighty, Mighty Bosstones
Queen of Apology - The Sounds
King of Wishful Thinking - Go West
Killer Queen - Queen
King of New Orleans - Better than Ezra
King's Highway - Tom Petty
King of Pain - The Police
Sun King - The Beatles
Money Becomes King - Tom Petty
Til Kingdom Come - Coldplay
M. L. K. - The King's Singers
Queen Jane Approximately - Bob Dylan and the Grateful Dead
It's good to be King - Tom Petty
Rain King - Counting Crows
The King of Bedside Manor - Barenaked Ladies
Child of my Kingdom - Arthur Brown

you see the "yes on 8" bumper sticker.

Go see it. That is all.